Hiya here! I hope you guys are doing well… Sorry about my silence. I have had terrible news frying left, right, center about relatives who got Covid 19 and losing some. Please do continue to respect the Covid 19 measures.
Only God is our protector and I pray that we all are safe.
Here is my new chapter go read, share, like and comments please. Thank you.
It was Monday morning. I was not working that day, so I decided to stay at home to clean my house and sort some of my clothes out for Caritas NGO while listening to music.
<akan a pe leti omi
<Isale oro teriyen
<Motigoke yin na O
<now am drinking Dom Perignon
<Motigoke yin na O
<Now am drinking Dom Perignon
<If you dey wait for my downfall
<You go dey there till you go die there
<If you dey wait for my next move
<You go dey there till you go quench there
<No me do am na baba God so e’ole fade e
<I dey here so let’s go there
<Anywhere e dey happen I will be the baale
<Whether you like am or not dem don pay
<Oga ta oga o ta, owo alaru ape
<Kin’ toko orinlasan won ti sanwo mi
<Appearance fee egberun lona mewa ni
I was humming to one of my favorite songs, “Enife” of 9ice, that I discovered during my last trip to Lagos. Immediately I heard it, I liked the track.
Infact, I always liked songs or movies in Yoruba dialect. I don’t understand a damn word of it, but I like them.
Between my sisters and my brother ( I told you at the beginning of my story that I have three elder sisters, a younger brother, and me), I was the only one trying to get more information concerning our Mum dialect, family, and country.
I always wanted to know more about where she was from and wanted to learn her “Yoruba”.
I knew some few greetings words like:
Ẹ Káàárọ to say hello in the morning
Ẹ Káàsán to say hello in the afternoon
Ẹ Káàlẹ to say hello in the evening or good night
It was stressful for us. It was difficult and the protocol in it did not help matters.
Ah! ah! just to say hello… You have to kneel down or bend down or even greet the floor first before looking at the person you want to greet lol.
The funniest thing was the attitude to have while saying it and all depending on how familiar you are to the person you greet or not if the person is older than you or not.
“Hum… you, Yoruba people, you like protocols and tradition too much”….. I was always telling my mum whenever she started with her teachings.
Our mum always talks to us in Yoruba, but my father, when he was still alive, used to tell her to teach us “Fang” (his local language in Gabon) instead of forcing his children to speak Yoruba.
I think it was not right coming from him. How could she teach us his own language? I could not figure it out.
My mum speaks fang. I don’t deny it. However, she could only teach and speaks her mother tongue to us.
Actually, why do we call our dialect mother tongue? It’s because, a mother is the main, or let me put it this way, back in the days, a mother was the main person interacting with her children.
My Mum and Dad met at the Queen Mary University of London, she told us.
He was her first boyfriend. They dated for 03 years before she got pregnant during her last year of university, while my father was already working in an oil company in London.
Those days, because he was black and from Africa, the oil company hired him as a trainee despite the fact he graduated from a well-known university. He was denied the benefits attached to the job offer, He did not get all the allowances attached to the position. But still, he worked for the company for almost 04 years.
My mum’s parents were against the relationship and they got furious the moment they knew about the pregnancy because my mum and dad were not married.
Her uncle who also lived in London informed her parent that she was pregnant.
Talking about marriage, I understand (and that’s only my point of view) that in Nigeria, society considers and seriously respects the institution of marriage. It is not so in Gabon or French-speaking countries.
In Nigeria, if a woman has a child without being married, it is a disgrace to her family, which was so for my mum.
Her father decided to get her back to Lagos. He did not want her to continue her education anymore. He said, since she did not go to London to study rather she went to look for a husband, she had to come back home and let her so-called boyfriend come and marry her, if not she should forget about her family and he will disinherit her.
My mum challenged her father and refused to go back to Lagos without a degree. My father convinced her and promised he would come to marry her and make sure she finishes her university. She got back to Lagos that same year with six months old pregnancy.
My grandma was not happy with my grandpa, but she told my mum to understand him because she had to be an excellent example for her younger ones.
Her father used to say, what a man can do, a woman should do it better because of what people will say. My mum should have been conscious enough about her education, get a good job, and get a man from a royal family as her senior sister did.
Olding days… That is it… I will never understand their ways. What was he thinking about? Well, I don’t think that was my mum’s plan because she waited for my dad till she gave birth to my sister Abidemi Adekanmi.
So her father gave to the child Abidemi which means: born before the arrival of the father. Let me tell you something, names have meaning in Nigeria … But that is another chapter for the story……
Adekanmi is my grand’pa’s name.
We understood later why he was so annoyed with our mum’s disobedience to him. They come from a royal family, Adekanmi means: I am entitled to the crown…. And in their family, nobody has to get married to “a non-royal” person.
Tradition all over and again.
“… but a Gabonese, who is he? Do you know his family, maybe they are just beggars in their country… do you know who you are, my daughter? No … oh hell no because if you knew, it is not a lascar like him you would have gone to take has a husband… for my entire life, I have never seen one of this so-called Gabonese being. Who is popular there that you can name? I am waiting for him here. Let him show his face here in “Eko” and I will teach him the real meaning of respect” That was her fatherès talk. My mum used to tell me whenever she was talking about her story.
My father later went to Lagos 8 months later my sister’s birth, with his father and 02 of his uncles for introduction…07 months later, he returned for the traditional wedding and 02 months later for the court wedding. He spent money. A serious amount of cash went down in Lagos.
It was only after all those weddings that my mum had the authorization to follow her husband and my sister’s name changed to Keyia Abidemi Laureen Ekomie. How could that have been done? You might ask if she had a birth certificate then got a totally new one, right?
well, my sister’s birth certificate was established only after my father paid for his name. Tradition again…
As I said, I was listening to the music…cleaning the house, and so on until…
Marimba ! Marimba ! Marimba !……….. it was my phone ringing.
Me:” Allo ma !”
Mum:”Allo K-T! How are you?”
Me: “Fine ma, and you?
Mum:” Fine, thank you, my dear? How is work?”
Me:” Work is fine ma, just having too much training for a while now, but it’s ok!
Mum:” I hope your brother and sister are doing well!!!!”
Me:” Yes, they are fine.”
Mum: “I hope they are behaving ?”
Me: “Well, for now, nothing special they are behaving the way I like, and at times I am just regretting the reason why I was talking bad about them…”
Mum:” Have I not told you not to judge the children because of what their mum is doing?”
Me:” But you can’t blame me na… anyway, tell me the gist, what is happening there in Libreville?”
Mum:” hum…. Forget about this city, and if you want the gist, come and see by yourself. I am not your gist radio o.”
Me:” hummmm ma’a miiiiiii”
Mum: “The reason why I called you is that aunty Agatha (my mum’s sister) and her husband are finally going back to Lagos. Her husband’s mission has come to an end.”
Me:” hum. After how many years in Gabon? Well, that’s good for them but what is my concern with that? Do they want me to go help them pack their luggage there in Port Gentil (a city in Gabon) or what?”
Mum: “she wants you to call her. She will explain to you in detail what she expects from you.”
Me: “And you expect me to call her back? Hein ma’am mii…. ok and when are they supposed to leave Gabon?”
Mum: “Well, I don’t know yet. She said they don’t have the exact date. I think They are still waiting for some administrative arrangements. I think it is better you call her as soon as possible. I don’t know what she wants to tell you about but please, my dear, call her. You know the way she always is. If you don’t call her back, you know how she is na…. she will start wahalaing me ooo”….( lol wahaling word is created by me)
Me: “Ok don’t worry, ……. Don’t worry, and I’ll call her before the end of this week when I am less busy… But mum come o, when are you coming to Dakar na? You said when you’d take your holiday na….”
Mum:” Yes, what is it? Let me arrange myself well and collect back my money from my customers….. those still owing me my money. After, I’ll call you to inform you about the date. I hope you won’t be away out of Dakar by the time I am ready to come pay you a visit?”
Me: “hum… ok, ooo. I want food, please…. Bring the whole market of Mont Bouet…. You should make sure you tell me before…. In three weeks’ time from now, I’ll be in Lagos for training. I’ll be away for two weeks”
Mum: “You with your training self, always traveling up and down…. I’ll start calling you < Ajala the traveler> o. When you travel like that for your training, can you just meet a man, at least? bring me my son-in-law too na….lol.”
Me: “Ma’aaaa mi, I knew you will say that. Mami, mami, mami…. just forget this topic for now, please. My right man will come at God’s time…. I am not in a hurry.”
Mum: “Ok o., what I meant is that you should think about it o. you are not getting younger.
Mum: “So bye for now, o. greats your brother and sister for me.”
Me:” bye, mum, love you.”
Mum:” Love you too.”
My mum with this her story of me getting married. She was not happy at all. The fact that I am still single at my age is seriously bothering her. Each time she called me, she would talk about me finding a man to marry.
Tell me oooo…. Is it a woman that will now look for a man to marry? Hum…
What does she thinks I’m doing? It is not that am gonna look for them as a desperate woman …..
Every day my mind is on it. I am ready in case I see somebody, but at the same time, I believe that God’s time is the best.
Let’s me telling you the truth guys, for now, I am not just in a hurry to get married. I said if I find somebody, OK, but I don’t want to fall into marriage and regret my decision. I am 28 years old, YES, AND SO WHAT?
I still have time…. Even at 40, I’ll find someone, don’t worry about me, I’ll get there….. lol….
Please help me explain that to my mum. If it is me, she will not understand and starts telling me about my sisters that are already married and happy in their home… and bla bla bla
Everyone has his or her own destiny and mine is different from theirs.; so, please she should let me be.
After talking with my mum, I went to cook. When the food was ready, I ate, relaxed, and then got myself ready for the Caritas NGO office.
On my way to town, something was bothering me concerning what mumsy told me on the phone. She asked to call my aunty … Ok … but why? Why was it so vital for me to call her? She regularly calls her children… why can’t she ask her child to give me the phone so I can talk to her.
I think something is wrong somewhere …..
Don’t you think so? Well, you may not understand because you don’t know my aunt yet. Don’t worry, very soon I am gonna tell you more about her….
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